12 words and phrases to avoid when giving feedback

12 words and phrases to avoid when giving feedback12 words and phrases to avoid when giving feedbackProviding feedback gets easier with time and practice. The anticipation and lead up to the conversation is typically worse than the actual meeting, so dont be afraid to jump in and share feedback that will help your friend or colleague improve. Effective feedback is detailed, timely and intended to help the recipient perform in the best way possible.In order to enaya that your good intentions are at the forefront, avoid behauptung phrases that may derail your conversation or leave the wrong impression.1. To be honest This phrase implies that there was a time when you were not being honest. It is also regularly a precursor to a surprising piece of information. Simply remove this phrase from your feedback conversation.2. Actually I strongly believe that this phrase has no business in any professional correspondence. Its jarring to read and hear as it immediately implies that the rolle on the receiving end has misspoken, missed an important piece of information or is generally an idiot. Remove this single word to change the tone of your message.3. But Avoid buts to keep a conversation positive and to ensure that your message is heard. Evidence suggests that our brains negate the phrase before the word but, so using it during a feedback conversation may mean that the receiver dismisses the important information you are sharing. Consider how I dont think that the presentation was effective, but your slides were very informative is different from I dont think the presentation was effective because you didnt share the relevant research.4. Everyone thinks Remove rumors and speaking for a group when providing feedback. You run the risk of losing credibility or unwittingly dragging colleagues into a conversation that they are not prepared to enter. Instead, share how the behavior impacts you.5. No offense Just stop here. Thats right, no offense nothing even resembling off ense. If you have to say this term, stop and rethink the rest of the phrase. You have likely crossed a line from feedback to criticism.6. Im sure you You can never be sure of what someone thinks or knows, and if you are sure, there is no need to say it. This is also a precursor statement to assigning motive. You can only be sure of how something is impacting you. Its very difficult to accurately guess someones thought process or motives behind a behavior so its best to avoid this phrase altogether.7. If you want to succeed People succeed in many different ways and you do not get to decide how or if someone succeeds. This is true even for bosses talking to employees. Success looks different to everyone, and this phrase may be seen as threatening, especially if youre giving a review.8. You should It is so much more powerful for someone to come to a conclusion on their own. Help the receiver understand the repercussions of their actions and possible steps forward rather than instructin g them on how to proceed. Think about how happy your best friend or partner is when they discover something youve been telling them for months. They needed to get there on their own. And coming to conclusions on ones own often brings more impactful conclusions.9. If I were you Youre not. Unless directly asked what you would do, avoid this phrase.10. This has been a problem for several months Feedback should be given in a timely manner. If something has been an issue for months, or longer, youve done the feedback receiver a disservice. Share feedback as soon as youre able so its fresh in the receivers mind and easier to adjust behaviors.11. Never/alwaysSpeaking in absolutes like these may weaken your point. Its rare that someone always or never does something, so your feedback will likely be immediately dismissed as not credible. You can soften these terms to regularly and rarely, respectively.12. Be more like XRather than comparing individuals or team members, share concrete example s of behaviors. Outcomes can be achieved different ways and still be effective. Get to the root of a problem by sharing clear details rather than comparisons.Omitting these phrases will help to ensure that your message is heard and received in a supportive manner in which you intend. Remember, its not about walking on eggshells during this conversation. Honest and open feedback can help you and your coworkers communicate and develop effectively.A version of this post previously appeared onFairygodboss, the largest career community that helps women get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits, and work flexibility. Founded in 2015, Fairygodboss offers company ratings, job listings, discussion boards, and career advice.